OK - so this is a hard time. And as with all hard times, there's never that "right" thing to say to someone right? I hate that feeling, when someone's going through something I don't understand and I have no idea what to say. I've had several things said to me (which I don't really care) but I feel I get very protective of other military wives going through the same thing and something awfully insensitive is said to them. It's a very lonely time, no matter what kind of support group you have. You can engross yourself with work, which is a pain that makes me forget the other pain, you can surround yourself with a various activities, playdates, etc., but there is still something just "missing." And its hard, because you can't move on. You're still in a relationship, but its like the part that makes relationships beneficial (the other person) is missing. So, top 10 things not to say...
1.) "Well, you married them. You must have known what this was going to be like." (um, ok..that's like telling someone planning to have kids someday that they will know exactly what it will be like when that little one comes along - and frankly, you have no idea until you go through it.)
2.) "Oh - Only 6 months? That's not very long." (I actually heard this said to someone with a baby, and even without a baby, its starting to feel like forever.)
3.) "Oh, I'm so excited for them! What an adventure for them to have!" (We wives don't want to hear how great this experience will be for our husbands, or vice versa. Yes, we are very proud of them, but we reserve the right to think that the greatest adventure our spouse will have is at home with us.)
4.) "I would kill for someone to take my husband away for a while." (Yes, we know you are trying to be funny, but on that same note - can you husband then switch places with mine?)
5.) "Well, maybe this will make you appreciate each other more when he gets home, and learn not to take each other for granted." (Um...ok. I'm so glad you thought I needed to learn that lesson. I didn't think I took him for granted in the first place, but thanks for your imparted wisdom)
6.) "Well, now that's he's gone - You can just throw yourself into work and work even more hours." (Great, my husband's gone, and now I have to work even more...)
7.) "You should feel blessed that you live in the time period you do and can email, try living in the 1940's when they lived through letters." (Did you live through the 1940's? Have you ever had an "email" relationship? Until you have, keep your mouth shut. It's still hard.)
8.) This really isn't a phrase - but don't get mad at the wife when she doesn't know every detail of her husband's life over there - so don't ask repeated questions about what the "spouse" does on a day to day basis - remember "email" relationship. And..for security reasons, we don't know.
9.) Another non phrase - don't cry to the wife that you miss the "deployed person." It's ok to miss them, but that's probably not the person to be saying it too. We're doing our best to keep our own strength and face every day with a smile, we can't be your strength as well.
10.) Well, at least this isn't a "bad" war. (I've never heard of a good war - have you?)
So - if someone posts on facebook that their husband just left or if they come to talk to you with their hard time, just say, "I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do? And I'll be thinking of you." That's all you need to say.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
Wow, my last post was this Summer?
So, its been a while since I've posted anything! This fall went by incredibly fast. So I guess I'll consider this post my "Yearly Update" - or at least half a year since I last wrote anything.
Work at MA is going well. Everyday continues to be a steep learning curve. You never know what to expect on a day to day basis. At times, its stressful, at other times, I love the challenge and the fact that I never get bored. One of my co-workers put it perfectly, the bad days in public accounting are really bad, and the good days are REALLY good. There really is no middle. Work has led me everywhere from Alaska, Oregon, California, and Tennessee. I was able to meet up with lifetime friend Larry in Memphis and then my good friend Jamie came up to see me the weekend after. I've found out just how beautiful Anchorage can be in the summer and how miserable it can be in the winter.
Kurtis left for Iraq in November. As he went ahead of the rest of the squadron, his leaving was kept under wraps for a while - one of the hardest things was not being able to tell people. It is the first time the EA-18G Growler has been operationally deployed and it is the first time a Super Hornet airframe has been forward deployed to Iraq. Along with this comes many challenges; however, if anyone can handle it, its Kurtis. He seems to be doing well over there, and we are able to connect via chat, Skype, or phone at least once a week. Some days are harder than others, but we both try to keep a good attitude about the situation. We are both fairly independent people to begin with, so we are using this time to learn more about ourselves and each other. Relationships are never easy, but they are even harder when on opposite sides of the world. However, Kurtis (and myself) are both very passionate about the cause he is supporting over in Iraq. I am very proud of him.
When Kurtis returns, we will move into the new house we bought in Mount Vernon, WA. Our sister in law works for the home builder (Quadrant Homes), and we feel good about the investment we are making. The house is everything we are looking for and has a view of the Skagit valley and mountains. An added bonus is the affordable price, much lower than anything on the Islands. They will begin construction on the house in 1 week - I can't wait to see its progress. This will bring me closer to Bellingham, however, Kurtis will have a little bit more of a drive. He seems to be ok with this, especially as he is gone 6 months of the year.
With the encouragement of my Beachbody Coach, Sommer, I have now become a representative of Beachbody products. For those of you that knew me in college, you knew I was a huge Turbo Jam enthusiast and lost most of my weight before the wedding doing this program. Traveling as much as I do has really hit my body hard. Beachbody now not only has amazing fitness programs, such as P90X and Turbo Fire, but has a wonderful health supplement called "Shakeology." Shakeology not only helps with weight loss, but provides your body with the healthy nutrients, vitamins, and antioxidants that your body needs. I became a Coach to get these products at a discount, but just can't help telling others about them. I believe Shakeology will truly make a difference for me in 2011 as I now have something I can take with me traveling. Kurtis took the program "Insanity" with him to Iraq, and has already lost 10 to 12 pounds.
That's about it for the Scoby Household. 2011 should bring many great things - a new house, and most importantly, Kurtis coming home (although he'll have to leave again in Nov of 2011, but I refuse to think of that!). Happy New Year to all of you!
Work at MA is going well. Everyday continues to be a steep learning curve. You never know what to expect on a day to day basis. At times, its stressful, at other times, I love the challenge and the fact that I never get bored. One of my co-workers put it perfectly, the bad days in public accounting are really bad, and the good days are REALLY good. There really is no middle. Work has led me everywhere from Alaska, Oregon, California, and Tennessee. I was able to meet up with lifetime friend Larry in Memphis and then my good friend Jamie came up to see me the weekend after. I've found out just how beautiful Anchorage can be in the summer and how miserable it can be in the winter.
Kurtis left for Iraq in November. As he went ahead of the rest of the squadron, his leaving was kept under wraps for a while - one of the hardest things was not being able to tell people. It is the first time the EA-18G Growler has been operationally deployed and it is the first time a Super Hornet airframe has been forward deployed to Iraq. Along with this comes many challenges; however, if anyone can handle it, its Kurtis. He seems to be doing well over there, and we are able to connect via chat, Skype, or phone at least once a week. Some days are harder than others, but we both try to keep a good attitude about the situation. We are both fairly independent people to begin with, so we are using this time to learn more about ourselves and each other. Relationships are never easy, but they are even harder when on opposite sides of the world. However, Kurtis (and myself) are both very passionate about the cause he is supporting over in Iraq. I am very proud of him.
When Kurtis returns, we will move into the new house we bought in Mount Vernon, WA. Our sister in law works for the home builder (Quadrant Homes), and we feel good about the investment we are making. The house is everything we are looking for and has a view of the Skagit valley and mountains. An added bonus is the affordable price, much lower than anything on the Islands. They will begin construction on the house in 1 week - I can't wait to see its progress. This will bring me closer to Bellingham, however, Kurtis will have a little bit more of a drive. He seems to be ok with this, especially as he is gone 6 months of the year.
With the encouragement of my Beachbody Coach, Sommer, I have now become a representative of Beachbody products. For those of you that knew me in college, you knew I was a huge Turbo Jam enthusiast and lost most of my weight before the wedding doing this program. Traveling as much as I do has really hit my body hard. Beachbody now not only has amazing fitness programs, such as P90X and Turbo Fire, but has a wonderful health supplement called "Shakeology." Shakeology not only helps with weight loss, but provides your body with the healthy nutrients, vitamins, and antioxidants that your body needs. I became a Coach to get these products at a discount, but just can't help telling others about them. I believe Shakeology will truly make a difference for me in 2011 as I now have something I can take with me traveling. Kurtis took the program "Insanity" with him to Iraq, and has already lost 10 to 12 pounds.
That's about it for the Scoby Household. 2011 should bring many great things - a new house, and most importantly, Kurtis coming home (although he'll have to leave again in Nov of 2011, but I refuse to think of that!). Happy New Year to all of you!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Summer Update
Hi Y'all.
I threw in the y'all as I have been more and more made fun of at work and am determined to say it more than usual now. My manager said y'all the other day, so I believe my work here is done. :)
As for updates: Kurtis has been assigned to squadron 132, which stays in Whidbey Island for the next three years. Thankfully, I do not have to make the painful choice of job/husband. He is very excited, although a little overwhelmed. He told me his "busy season" is starting as he is set to deploy in September. I know the feeling. I am very nervous about our first deployment and thankful I have met lots of new friends who have promised to "keep me occupied." Looks like I'll be spending even more time in Bellingham! It's also convenient that his deployment is set to run through my busy season. We never saw eachother anyway. Kurtis was named Top Hook at the boat and has done really well for himself, which I am not surprised. We are very blessed to get our top choice of squadron.
I'm so thankful to have Sam, Kim, and Caroline nearby as having family nearby makes all the difference. I realized this weekend that I have spent at least one night every weekend of the last month at their place. They have been so great. Lady and Mack are best of friends.
Work is going great, although its still pretty busy. I like traveling and seeing/meeting people I never would have otherwise. I was eating lunch in downtown Seattle this past week by the Needle and just sat there remembering all those college nights watching Grey's Anatomy and thinking how cool it would be to live somewhere like this. Never dreamed I ever would. Life seems to go by so fast, yet when you stop to think of the details, so slow. I never thought this small-town Texas girl would be exploring Anchorage, AK, but life throws you surprises, especially military life.
Now that we are staying, we can start possibly looking for a house, we'll see. I would like to be able to put 20% down, so lots of saving. I think we would remain in Anacortes. But the great news, now we have time to think, plan, decide, whatever, a luxury in military life. Possibly even a baby in the next few years? We'll see. :)
I threw in the y'all as I have been more and more made fun of at work and am determined to say it more than usual now. My manager said y'all the other day, so I believe my work here is done. :)
As for updates: Kurtis has been assigned to squadron 132, which stays in Whidbey Island for the next three years. Thankfully, I do not have to make the painful choice of job/husband. He is very excited, although a little overwhelmed. He told me his "busy season" is starting as he is set to deploy in September. I know the feeling. I am very nervous about our first deployment and thankful I have met lots of new friends who have promised to "keep me occupied." Looks like I'll be spending even more time in Bellingham! It's also convenient that his deployment is set to run through my busy season. We never saw eachother anyway. Kurtis was named Top Hook at the boat and has done really well for himself, which I am not surprised. We are very blessed to get our top choice of squadron.
I'm so thankful to have Sam, Kim, and Caroline nearby as having family nearby makes all the difference. I realized this weekend that I have spent at least one night every weekend of the last month at their place. They have been so great. Lady and Mack are best of friends.
Work is going great, although its still pretty busy. I like traveling and seeing/meeting people I never would have otherwise. I was eating lunch in downtown Seattle this past week by the Needle and just sat there remembering all those college nights watching Grey's Anatomy and thinking how cool it would be to live somewhere like this. Never dreamed I ever would. Life seems to go by so fast, yet when you stop to think of the details, so slow. I never thought this small-town Texas girl would be exploring Anchorage, AK, but life throws you surprises, especially military life.
Now that we are staying, we can start possibly looking for a house, we'll see. I would like to be able to put 20% down, so lots of saving. I think we would remain in Anacortes. But the great news, now we have time to think, plan, decide, whatever, a luxury in military life. Possibly even a baby in the next few years? We'll see. :)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Just thinking....
I was thinking this past week that as hard and as unpredictable military life can be, it truly is amazing to travel to different parts of the country and meet new people. I met some best friends in Mississippi that I still talk to weekly and email daily and now the bonds are starting to form in Bellingham. I would have never met these incredible people and communities had the military not forced me to leave my comfort zone.
Work is going really well - I can say that although there are days I'm incredibly stressed, I really like my job. Growing is painful, but I consider it a privilege to learn from some of the best in my field. Things are starting to calm down quite a bit as we are wrapping up most of our audits. I am leaning towards the Financial Industries niche as I think it will be the best for my career and I really enjoy working with those individuals. The FI niche seems to be a bit more "structured" and organized than other niches, which fits me perfectly. It will probably be a year or so before officially declaring a "niche." I should be certified (finally) around October or November. I still need to fit in an Ethics class and Regulations class, but that shouldn't take longer than a day.
Other than that, life is running smoothly. Kurtis is exceling (as always) in his flight career and we enjoy our time together. It's nice to hang out on the weekends without a care in the world (Yes, I know we need to enjoy this time in our life before kids.) We are actually looking for some new bikes to take up riding on the weekends. I think its going to be a lot of fun. He should be assigned a squadron in June, and then we will see which way the wind takes us. I refuse to worry about it, as the Lord has not let us down yet. I fully trust He will place us where we need to be and what is in our best interest, whether we prefer it or not. I didn't want to go to Mississippi, and then I wouldn't trade the friends I made there for the world, so I'm just going to let go of worrying and let it happen.
My parents are selling their house in Jones Creek and moving to Lake Jackson and Jeanna, Jeremy, and their gang are moving to England. I think things are crazy at home with everything going on. I thought of going home to see "home" one last time, but then decided it would be too hard. It's for the best, but its always hard when you grew up in the same house your entire life. Life is constantly changing. I can't believe Jace is almost a year and Kurtis was upset the other night when he thought Noah was Carter as he is getting so big. I think a much needed vacation to Texas with both of us is needed soon. We already have a fund set up for a Europe vacation and dependent on the military and what happens, we may take a long trip next year.
Warm thoughts to all!
Work is going really well - I can say that although there are days I'm incredibly stressed, I really like my job. Growing is painful, but I consider it a privilege to learn from some of the best in my field. Things are starting to calm down quite a bit as we are wrapping up most of our audits. I am leaning towards the Financial Industries niche as I think it will be the best for my career and I really enjoy working with those individuals. The FI niche seems to be a bit more "structured" and organized than other niches, which fits me perfectly. It will probably be a year or so before officially declaring a "niche." I should be certified (finally) around October or November. I still need to fit in an Ethics class and Regulations class, but that shouldn't take longer than a day.
Other than that, life is running smoothly. Kurtis is exceling (as always) in his flight career and we enjoy our time together. It's nice to hang out on the weekends without a care in the world (Yes, I know we need to enjoy this time in our life before kids.) We are actually looking for some new bikes to take up riding on the weekends. I think its going to be a lot of fun. He should be assigned a squadron in June, and then we will see which way the wind takes us. I refuse to worry about it, as the Lord has not let us down yet. I fully trust He will place us where we need to be and what is in our best interest, whether we prefer it or not. I didn't want to go to Mississippi, and then I wouldn't trade the friends I made there for the world, so I'm just going to let go of worrying and let it happen.
My parents are selling their house in Jones Creek and moving to Lake Jackson and Jeanna, Jeremy, and their gang are moving to England. I think things are crazy at home with everything going on. I thought of going home to see "home" one last time, but then decided it would be too hard. It's for the best, but its always hard when you grew up in the same house your entire life. Life is constantly changing. I can't believe Jace is almost a year and Kurtis was upset the other night when he thought Noah was Carter as he is getting so big. I think a much needed vacation to Texas with both of us is needed soon. We already have a fund set up for a Europe vacation and dependent on the military and what happens, we may take a long trip next year.
Warm thoughts to all!
Friday, January 22, 2010
A little bit of encouragement....
I read this in my devotional this week and it really lifted my spirits. I thought I would share.
"God can do anything, you know-far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us." Ephesians 3:20, The Message.
"God can do anything, you know-far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us." Ephesians 3:20, The Message.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
1 week down, 41 weeks to go!
I just completed my first week at Moss Adams, and so far, its been a great experience. The people have been so kind and welcoming and they treat each other professionally and respectfully. Moss Adams is primarily located along the west coast, with their headquarters in Seattle, and is the 11th largest CPA firm in the country. The learning curve is pretty steep, I can't believe how much I learned in just one week. Unlike EY, Moss Adams doesn't require all work to be done at the client site, so 75% of the time, I'll actually be in office. The learning and training will never end, which I like because my work will never be routine or boring. Everyday is something new! I am already booked on clients through June, with most of my clients in the financial industry. I was able to voice a preference when I interviewed, and am glad most of my clients are FI because it means less travel and its a great foundation for the future. No matter where we move, there will always be FI clients. Most of the staff are traveling every other week, while I'm scheduled for one week in February to Seattle and then 2 weeks of travel in May to south Seattle. Ironically, one of the interns that started is a Texas Aggie, along with one other Aggie in the office, a Rice graduate, and a partner from Mississippi. In some weird, bizarre way, it makes me feel more comfortable and that I'm not in a totally foreign place.
Kurtis has already commented on how much happier I seem. These last two years have been a big challenge career wise and its so great to finally be working towards something again. I know it won't be easy, and I know that the next 3 months of my life will pretty much consist of work, work, and then more work, but its totally worth it to be able to lay my head on the pillow at night knowing I contributed in some way to society. 41 weeks to go until I'm licensed!
Kurtis has already commented on how much happier I seem. These last two years have been a big challenge career wise and its so great to finally be working towards something again. I know it won't be easy, and I know that the next 3 months of my life will pretty much consist of work, work, and then more work, but its totally worth it to be able to lay my head on the pillow at night knowing I contributed in some way to society. 41 weeks to go until I'm licensed!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Dear Mr. I hate jet noise neighbor...
Dear Mr. I hate jet noise neighbor,
I wanted to let you know what a delight it was to meet you the other day! It's so great to meet people who are so honest and immediately let us know that the jet noise is SO bothersome. Trust me, we know the value of great neighbors, considering we've lived in 4 different houses in the last 2 years! Fortunately, my kind and generous husband can laugh at your attempt at humor. You see, I have had such a blast trying to pursue my career goals while moving to places in the middle of nowhere so that we don't bother people like you with unncecessary noise. I consider it only a challenge when I learn that I am least 2 years behind the classmates I graduated graduate school with. That's why it was also so kind of you to give your opinion on my driving 45 mins each day to work, cause trust me, opportunities knock on the door every day. So you're right, it is absolutely "crazy" for me to take advantage of this one! It's also so great to have neighbors we can count on, since my husband will be gone the entire month of March and could be deployed to Afghanistan as soon as May! But let's look at the positive, that's one less pilot making noise in the area! And hey, if he doesn't get Afghanistan, there's still a good possibility that he could get stationed in Japan this summer, so don't lose hope yet. And yay, I get to make a fun decision of staying here to try to further pursue my career or go to Japan with my husband, life is just filled with such grand choices!!! So yes, Mr. Neighbor, we are truly sorry for the inconvenience the noise has caused you, especially during the show 24 as you informed us. I mean, you're totally right, who wants to listen to real men and women train to protect us when you can just watch the fictitious characters on TV save the country over and over?!? And I wouldn't dare ask you to invest in Tivo as that could be such a life altering event. Please feel free to let us know any other ways that we can be of service to you, you're input is greatly appreciated!
Sincerely,
So sorry to burden you with our presence.
Aside: Kurtis and I are very blessed with our lives and we are completely happy. I was just trying to make a point, please don't go up to anyone who serves and complain about their work. It's just plain rude and ignorant.
I wanted to let you know what a delight it was to meet you the other day! It's so great to meet people who are so honest and immediately let us know that the jet noise is SO bothersome. Trust me, we know the value of great neighbors, considering we've lived in 4 different houses in the last 2 years! Fortunately, my kind and generous husband can laugh at your attempt at humor. You see, I have had such a blast trying to pursue my career goals while moving to places in the middle of nowhere so that we don't bother people like you with unncecessary noise. I consider it only a challenge when I learn that I am least 2 years behind the classmates I graduated graduate school with. That's why it was also so kind of you to give your opinion on my driving 45 mins each day to work, cause trust me, opportunities knock on the door every day. So you're right, it is absolutely "crazy" for me to take advantage of this one! It's also so great to have neighbors we can count on, since my husband will be gone the entire month of March and could be deployed to Afghanistan as soon as May! But let's look at the positive, that's one less pilot making noise in the area! And hey, if he doesn't get Afghanistan, there's still a good possibility that he could get stationed in Japan this summer, so don't lose hope yet. And yay, I get to make a fun decision of staying here to try to further pursue my career or go to Japan with my husband, life is just filled with such grand choices!!! So yes, Mr. Neighbor, we are truly sorry for the inconvenience the noise has caused you, especially during the show 24 as you informed us. I mean, you're totally right, who wants to listen to real men and women train to protect us when you can just watch the fictitious characters on TV save the country over and over?!? And I wouldn't dare ask you to invest in Tivo as that could be such a life altering event. Please feel free to let us know any other ways that we can be of service to you, you're input is greatly appreciated!
Sincerely,
So sorry to burden you with our presence.
Aside: Kurtis and I are very blessed with our lives and we are completely happy. I was just trying to make a point, please don't go up to anyone who serves and complain about their work. It's just plain rude and ignorant.
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